Relationship cannot have two scales
If you are in relationship, scale becomes common. either it is for your success , failure, pain, happiness or even your independency and act.
You can not define two different scales for one relationship. If you feel something is good, what you are doing, that means it is good even if your partner does that. You can not say him/her wrong while you do same.
We try to show that we want to be free but we never like when same our partner does. If you justify the activity of your partner as wrong, then why it should be justified as right for you.
If you feel pain, when your partner does something, then you should be aware that you partner may also feel same when you do that.
It is just a mutual share of emotion. In relationship we can not be a single entity to define right or wrong. It is a mutual unsigned consent to define what is right and what is wrong.
We always try to justify our action with different logical things like independency, freedom, privacy and My Life My Rule. Do not you feel same applies to your partner also.
If you want him/her to be yours only, first make yourself only for him/her.
Your action , your words, your thinking can not be justified differently than him/her.
Frankly speaking relationship is not space to add your private space in that. Relationship is full of dependency on each other to make you both as an independent entity in the society.
If your partner's activity makes you feel bad, that means you yourself first avoid that.
There is very slight and thin line between Socializing yourself and Personalizing yourself.
Personalizing yourself for each and everyone out is not at all acceptable in a relationship. And Socializing your relationship is not at all good.
Personalizing will make the partners better as there will be just one rule for two entity. But Socialization of relationship will generate multiple entity with in you.
Crossing that thin line, you come out of the bond of the Personalized relationship. And the problem starts. Because you start defining action and keep justifying it right in relation to the person with you at that moment.